THE GREAT BABY COMMISSION

TRUST IN HIM WITH ALL MY HEART + LEAN NOT ON MY OWN UNDERSTANDING.

Just 3 days ago, when I got a positive pregnancy test, I was rejoicing and tearing at God’s goodness. I thanked him for this miracle; that I had conceived. I realized that exactly 5 years ago (though after counting now I realized it is 6 years ago), we found out our baby’s spine and skull were not forming properly because I lacked folic acid - and had to abort (The brain was floating out of the head).  On that day, on my firefox homepage (christianitytoday.com) was the heading “ The Great Baby Commission” and I knew that it was God talking to me.

I couldn’t wait to tell all my friends and family the good news. This has been something we had been waiting for, for SO long! Ever since we got married, I always asked Mark “where is our bubby?”  For many years it the answer was “wait till we get our own house”. And then we did, but I started having bad acne. And then we couldn’t have kids for another 1 year because of of the acne medication I was on. And then we moved to New York, and started trying for a baby again. It has been 6 months of anticipation, hope and then disappointment every time I got my period. To be honest, I had stopped testing before my period came like I had used to. We concluded that we would leave it to God’s perfect timing. We would “try” at the right times but would not stress out about it.

So to have a positive pregnancy test that stated I was 2-3 weeks pregnant for the first time in 6 years? I was overwhelmed and quite frankly in shock. I was getting used to the idea that I WAS PREGNANT!

However, fear started to creep into my mind when concerned friends and family started advising me that I was not to do exercise, walk too much, paint, move things, carry heavy things, etc. No doubt these were very legitimate concerns of theirs but the more I thought about all these things and how “fragile” the life of my baby was, I started to panic. My friend said that she knew 3 other women who went on holidays and walked about and had a miscarriage. Another friend I spoke to told me about how her own mom had 2 miscarriages and she even knew the sex of the baby because when it was aborted it was partially formed. I started to get so paranoid, that even by walking I could lose my baby.

Before I found out I was pregnant, I don’t think I had any pregnancy symptoms at all – except for the usual ones that I got before my period. My breasts were tender and I had some dull achy cramps. I did not feel nauseous or dizzy or sleepy. However the next day of finding out I was pregnant, I woke up with a sore throat and I felt really dizzy and weak in my body. I ate something and went to lie back in bed and not long after, I had such sudden sharp pains in my abdomen and pelvic area. The pain was so intense it felt like bolts of jabs and went down to my tailbone. If I attempted to stand up or walk the intensity would increase. I crawled my way to the bathroom because I felt like vomiting as well. I really thought that I was going to pass out from pain or something. I was crying so badly and I called Mark and told him I think I need to go to the hospital. I sent out SOS messages to my sisters in Christ to pray for me too because I knew I needed prayer. Shortly after I had sent out that message, the pain started to subside.

That night I bought Jackie Mize’s audible book “ Supernatural Childbirth” and decided I was going to focus on what God had to say about pregnancy instead of focusing on the “what-ifs” and all the lies of the enemy.

I felt God say to me in my heart, “HE who begin a GOOD WORK IN ME would be faithful to bring it to completion”. That Children were a GIFT from God, why would he give you a gift and take it away? The devil is the one that comes to steal kill and destroy, and I now have realized how he steals and kills and destroys so many babies through miscarriages and his number one weapon is FEAR.

Fear is the opposite of Faith. When I was harboring those thoughts that I couldn’t tell everyone I was pregnant because “anything could happen” in the first trimester, I realized I had already partnered with fear.  I had agreed with the lie that a miscarriage COULD happen. And the “voice” that told me… “You want to testify of God’s goodness and his miracle for you now, but what if you get a miscarriage, what are people going to think of your God?”

I want to put this out here because I know that I am probably not the only Christian woman who has gone through this, and if anything I hope my sharing will bring you courage to trust in our heavenly father who gives GOOD gifts.

I realized a few things  - which got me to writing this:

1)    The enemy is a liar and I will not partner with the lie that I “might” have a miscarriage

2)    I do not need to defend God or prove to anyone that God is God because as far as I know, GOD is GOOD, ALL THE TIME and GOD IS LOVE, NO MATTER WHAT.

After listening to Jacke Mize and all the scriptures of what GOD SAYS about pregnancy – I know these verses are THE TRUTH of the matter and this is what I am going to be keeping in my heart, on my mind and on my lips through out my pregnancy:

10 things God Says about My Pregnancy ( And Yours too ! )

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1.    No weapon formed against me and my baby will prosper. – Isaiah 54:17

2.    My baby is beautifully/fearfully and wonderfully made and forming right now because God’s Works are Wonderful – Psalm 139:14

3.    I am no longer under the curse of Sorrowful Labour because Jesus Christ has redeemed us from the curse of the law by becoming a curse for us – Galatians 3:13

4.    I do not have to fear lacking folic acid and I do not have to fear that my baby will deformed again because Jesus took all my sickness and disease on the cross and by all the whips and lashes he took on my behalf, I have been healed – Isaiah 53:5

5.    I am under the same covenant as the children of Abraham because I have been grafted in through Jesus Christ – and God has said to them that “there will be no on miscarrying or barren in your land, I will fulfill the number of your days” – Exodus 23:26

6.    All the blessings of having obeyed the law are mine because Jesus Obeyed them all and went to the cross on my behalf AS ME and I was co-crucified with him, therefore the blessings in Deut 28 are Mine too – “ THE FRUIT OF YOUR WOMB WILL BE BLESSED/ Blessed shall be the OFFSPRING of your body” – Deut 28:4

7.    Jesus Told us to pray that it God’s Will be Done on earth as it is in heaven. There are no miscarriages in heaven, no deformed babies – there is only perfection and joy and love in heaven – and it is God’s will that I have a perfectly formed beautiful healthy baby – Matthew 6:10

8.    Because I know this is God’s will – to have a perfectly healthy baby because this is his blessing, I can be confidence when I ask him for a smooth and healthy pregnancy because he hears me – 1 John 5:13

9.    Children are a GIFT from the Lord, a productive womb is the Lord’s Reward  and I know my father is not one that would give me a gift that is not perfect in his eyes, or give me a gift that will be taken away – Psalm 127:3

10. I can cast all my cares on God because he cares for me (1 Peter 5:7),  and trust the Lord with ALL my heart and lean not on my own understanding ( Proverbs 3:5-6)  and not be anxious and worry about anything instead, tell God what I need and thank him for all he has done, and the peace of God that surpasses all understanding will guard my heart and mind in Christ Jesus ) Phillippians 4:7)

      THE ACCUSING THOUGHTS
Even as I am writing this, I am having all sorts of thoughts from the accuser saying “ What about all those women who have had bad pregnancies, miscarriages, deformed babies, or why did you even have a deformed baby last time anyways? Why did God allow that then? You know God is good but how are you going to explain to others why those bad things happened to them? Are you saying that God doesn’t love them if they went through all that? Are you saying they didn’t have enough faith or it was their fault that they chose to fear? “ Wow….

In a way YES, I believe that sometimes we give the enemy permission to carry out his stealing killing and destroying when we come into agreement with him that WE MIGHT have a miscarriage. Whatever that is IN secret, the enemy can always cause shame and fear in. Which is why I decided to write this, to break that lie and to declare the truth of what God is saying and that I am choosing to Believe God and not the devil.

However I don’t know WHY and HOW bad things happen and I don’t have all the answers and I can bravely say “ I DON”T KNOW”.

ALL I KNOW
and can testify for is what God has done in my life and HOW LOVED I AM by him, and I KNOW that if the enemy has stolen and killed and destroyed something or someone in your life in the past:

1.    GOD WILL WORK IT OUT FOR YOUR GOOD – Romans 8:28

2.    GOD WILL RESTORE WHAT HAS BEEN LOST – Joel 2:25

3.    GOD HAS PLANS TO PROSPER YOU, NOT TO HARM YOU – Jeremiah 29:11

4.    GOD WASN’T PUNISHING YOU, IT WASN’T HIS DOING – He desires Mercy Not sacrifice – and Jesus bore all that sin on the cross for you and I so that we could be free from the curses that accompanied the sin that had a hold on our lives – Hosea 6:6 and Matthew 12:7

My friends, I don’t know what you’ve been through in your life but I can tell you this. There is a God who loves you more than you know or can even imagine, and he wants to bless you more than you can even ask for ( Ephesians 3:20 ).
I know that fear and worry and anxiety is faced by everyone of us but when we KNOW how much we are loved, that the creator of the universes is our DAD and he loves us??? That PERFECT LOVE WILL DRIVE OUT ALL FEAR in your life (1 John 4:18) because there is no fear IN LOVE.

I WILL BE CAREFUL but I WILL NOT BE FEARFUL !

So in the same way that I felt he has commissioned me, I commission you my sister -

Trust in the Lord with ALL your heart :)