Discipline and the Heart of "No"

After having spent one week with family in singapore - and having all the attention and being fussed over and picked up and Carried at every scream or whimper, I now sit all alone with Aletheia in our Phuket hotel room feeling frustrated, because it seems, she has somewhat been infected with what I hope is a temporary "scream to get my way" mindset disease.

She had always been really good at sitting in her chair during mealtimes, feeding herself. But after a week of inconsistent chair sitting and mealtimes, it has become hard for her to sit down for more than 5 minutes, let alone eat anything. She would want to run around and maybe take a bite or two if you would feed her while she goes on her expeditions around the house. If you try to keep her in her jailhouse of a high chair, she would scream to be carried out - and a loving and obliging family member would surely come to her rescue.

The past week of "love and attention" being showered over her has surely proven itself detrimental. What has happened to my cheerful independent baby that feeds and plays by herself and has always been very happy to do so?

This got me thinking today about discipline and delayed gratification, and how sometimes God doesn't give us what we want NOW because of what he wants to give us LATER.

How while at that moment, your whole world might seem like its crumbling ( to a toddler i believe so), your parents don't just give in to you and your ways because they can actually see how letting you have your way at that very moment would impact your character and how you see the world and people, 20 years from now - when all you can see is the 2 seconds in front of you.

I think back to all the prayers that in those moments I felt were unanswered. I think back to times I was disappointed and threw a tantrum because I didn't get what I wanted, or things didn't happen the way I prayed it would. I think back to those moments right now and think - God thank you for saying NO to me. Thank you for your discipline. Thank you for seeing how those circumstances would shape my heart and mind and for all those lessons they taught me. Thank you for loving me enough to not always give me what I want, as and when I want it because you see so much further ahead in time that I could ever see.

Thank you for allowing me to fall and to try, and for helping me when I learn to get up and not give up - to learn that it's okay to make mistakes and to make a mess because your grace and love is enough - And my mess becomes my message.

Thank you for giving me choices and letting me make them - even the bad ones - because they have taught me that truly in and of myself, I have no good thing. That all those years i didn't have a relationship with you, I had actually tried to fill an empty spot in my heart that only you could fill.

Thank you for your discipline.

I have seen this verse before and it brought me to appreciative tears today as I felt tremendously loved while reading that God disciplines his children and it is because he loves us... And I hope it blesses you too, to know his fathers heart for you:)

“My son, do not make light of the Lord’s discipline, and do not lose heart when he rebukes you, because the Lord disciplines the one he loves, and he chastens everyone he accepts as his son.”

Endure hardship as discipline; God is treating you as his children. For what children are not disciplined by their father?

If you are not disciplined—and everyone undergoes discipline—then you are not legitimate, not true sons and daughters at all.

Moreover, we have all had human fathers who disciplined us and we respected them for it. How much more should we submit to the Father of spirits and live!

They disciplined us for a little while as they thought best; but God disciplines us for our good, in order that we may share in his holiness.

No discipline seems pleasant at the time, but painful. Later on, however, it produces a harvest of righteousness and peace for those who have been trained by it.”

Hebrews 12:5-11 NIV